Goals and Resolutions

2-minute read — by BTES Staff

Now that the champagne is gone and the last remnants of confetti are getting cleaned up, many people use the turning of a new year to reflect on their previous lap around the sun and take a fresh look at their goals for the year ahead.

Casual conversations with friends, acquaintances, and coworkers often touch on the subject of New Year’s resolutions for several weeks, and the social comparison of stated intentions has a way of inviting strong feelings; often of inadequacy, futility, jealousy, embarrassment, aimlessness, and insignificance.

Your resolution to spend more time with your dog seems to pale in comparison to your coworker’s resolution to save the earth. You might feel embarrassed—or even shameful—to admit joining a health club to try and knock-off that 5 (ok, 10) pounds you gained over the holidays, especially after hearing your friend’s resolution to compete in a fitness competition. And reading the barrage of social media posts from acquaintances proudly touting how they’re “going to feel happy and positive everyday!” only compounds your struggle to deal with the sadness you feel after spending a week with your relatives.

Goals are very personal and individual, and not as simple to achieve as writing them on your bathroom mirror. Most people have felt the sense of failure, disappointment, or futility that comes with falling short of the mark they set for themselves. When approached skillfully, however, working toward a goal can be a healthy and empowering process.

Counseling is the only venue where you learn the emotional skills necessary to effect meaningful and lasting change in your life. Because any resolution you set presents challenges, consider utilizing a professional therapist to help you face your fears, question, explore, identify what’s meaningful and realistic for you, deal with your full emotional experience, and successfully navigate the roadblocks along the way.