Dealing with “The New Normal”

3-minute read — by the BTES staff

While the COVID-19 pandemic has given birth to many terms that marginalize the emotional impact of current circumstances, few seem as incongruous as “the new normal.”

Threat of illness, face masks, businesses closures, massive unemployment, prohibition of physical contact and social gathering, violent riots, incomprehensible economic debt, schools possibly not reopening—just to name a few current circumstances—are far from normal.

For many people, the disconnection of such terms from their experience of reality invites a sense of isolation, self-doubt, and insecurity. Your internal voice may be asking, “Am I the only one who sees and is afraid of what’s happening?”

We can’t control or stop world events, so our only option for dealing with these circumstances and retaining any sense of inner peace, purpose, and direction, is to learn how to more effectively control the one thing we can: ourselves.

An accessible starting point for dealing with any sense of turmoil is to identify and be willing to feel your true emotional experience. A personal journal can be an incredibly effective tool for uncovering and connecting to the deeper layers of your experience. Clarifying your emotional experience is essential for understanding what’s really affecting you. For example, what begins as irritation at your spouse for not cooking dinner while they’re home all day on furlough, may reveal a deeper sense of feeling unvalued in your relationship. Once you know what’s really going on, you can take steps toward correcting the root issue, rather than reacting to superficial symptoms. (Learn more about using a journal on our Journaling Course page.)

Another useful exercise is to identify and list all the changes in your life. Are your routines broken? Has your job changed, or maybe you’re even out of work for the moment? Have your family patterns shifted with everyone being at home? Have your social circles eroded? BEing There Counseling relationship specialist, Donna BE, defines crisis as a period when the previously established systems are no longer functional, and the new systems are not yet established. A crisis doesn’t have to be a dramatic or catastrophic event. All of the changes in your life may seem insignificant, but when taken together create a picture of crisis simply by the yet unestablished means for dealing with them. Identifying all the changes in your life is a necessary starting point for developing new systems.

A skilled therapist can help you learn the skills and tools to identify and deal with your emotional experience effectively, strengthen the important relationships in your life, and navigate crisis to create new ways of operating in a deliberate, thoughtful, and truthful manner.

The “new normal” may never seem normal again, but the ability to live a grounded, purposeful, and connected life will always be within your control.