A Paradox of Intelligence

2-minute read — by BTES Staff

Intelligence is often regarded in our society as an important key to success in life. Smart people tend to get better grades in school, become more educated and, as a result, get better jobs. Yet, these same smart people seem to struggle to find genuine harmony, well-being, and life satisfaction. The apparent success intelligence affords can make it hard to admit that life does not feel grounded and meaningful.

Intelligence is a measure of the ability to build mental skill. Mental skill is certainly valuable, but intelligence can present challenges to the integration and application of emotional skills. Many people who are skilled on the mental aspect are equally as skilled in avoiding and denying emotionally difficult experiences. Why put in the work to connect with your irrational teenager, when you can explain this behavior with logic or science? Why end a passionate extramarital affair, when you are sure you can continue to hide it? Why stop drinking too much when you know you can still outperform your coworkers tomorrow? The ability to do mental gymnastics may be useful in convincing other people that you are making good choices, but it also enables you to convince yourself that you are right, even when you are not.

The life work of finding meaning and satisfaction is a path lit by connection to emotions, feelings, and faith, not smarts or rationale. Building skills on the emotional aspect can be an unexplored, daunting, and challenging arena for those who have always used their powerful brains to make life choices. Learning to connect to your feelings and build emotional skills is the only route to creating meaningful connections and healthy relationships.

A skilled therapist can help an intelligent person see past their own explanations and reasons, in order to see and deal with the real issues at play. Take your education in a meaningful direction by using therapy to learn what cannot be learned through intelligence alone.